As my 10 year high school reunion quickly approaches, I've been thinking back to that time, 10 years ago when I was preparing to graduate from high school and go to college. Like most people who lived in Pine Bluff, and were going to UAPB, I thought that I would do a semester or two there, and then transfer to a "better" school. lol But I'm so glad that I was wrong about that. I met some of the most beautiful people while in college and formed some everlasting bonds that are very close to my heart. But there is so much that I wish I knew then, that I know now. I didn't have sisters that I was close with to kind of show me certain things, and although I have a GREAT mother, there are some things that she just didn't get to experience at my age to tell me about. So I just kind of did things my way. I am a very logical and responsible person, so I had a pretty smooth transition from high school to college, but there are some things that I wish I had someone tell me during that time. So here's some advice that my 18 year old self needed to hear.
1. Slow down You don't have to attend every event on campus. There are going to be people that notice you, but give them a chance to miss you. Don't be one of those people that are everywhere. It may not seem like it, but you will be noticed more when you aren't always around.
2. Pay attention Watch people that you admire. Don't stalk them (lol) but pay attention to the qualities that you admire most about them, and mimic them in your own way. You think this teacher is well respected? Why is that? This will help you build character and will become very beneficial once you enter the real world.
3. Network Get involved in more student organizations/events that will allow you exposure to working and hiring professionals. This is especially important in your area of concentration. This will help you to build confidence when speaking to those hiring managers in the future. Believe it or not, it will help get rid of those interview jitters! Another important aspect of networking is finding a group of people to hang with that share your interests. College will be one of the last places where you are surrounded by people with as many common interests as you. Take advantage of it!
4. Shut Up and Listen In class instead of facebooking and texting, listen to the professors and class discussions. Some of the most valuable information that you will receive will come from listening to the shared experiences of teachers and students. Not all class conversations will be related to the subject. Professors' "real world' experiences will help you more than you realize.
5. Let the Boys Be Boys College is the time for exploration. Not many are trying to be in monogamous relationships or be completely committed to anyone, which is OK. This is the best time for you to find out what it is you want (and DON'T want) so that you can make better choices in choosing a mate, as well as, what you will and won't settle for in the future. Don't get too caught up in appearances and reputations, for that is meaningless when it comes to what will best suit you when its time for a relationship. Also, hold out on giving up the cookie. That brings in complicated feelings that change situations from what they could be if sex is withheld. If he cant wait, GOOD, he just saved you a headache! College is the best place to meet a potential husband. Don't waste time on people who don't deserve it!
This is just a short list of some things I could think of at the moment. What are some things that you would tell your 17/18 year old self? It may be too late for us, but we can always help a real life 18 year old and guide them along the way. I have 18 year old twin nieces that I talk to all the time about things that they will experience....I just hope they listen.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Successfully Unsuccessful
While trolling around on Facebook, I saw a post about why successful men are, or choose to remain single. After watching the video and reading the comments from the men, I began to think, what defines being successful? And does success in life necessarily qualify you to be successful in relationships?
In my opinion, people put too much praise on "success". What qualifies as being successful? As a woman, I can (and I actually do) have the degrees, good job, home, etc but what does that mean if I cant make a man WANT to stay around? In reality, the only way to define my success as far as relationships go, is my track record of maintaining a good one. The same goes for a man. Who cares about your education, money and the fact that you don't have kids if your personality is garbage and no woman can stand to be around you?
I read some comments from men that pretty much said that because they are successful in life (degree, no kids, preferable debt to income ratio, etc) that they are in an elite group of superhuman individuals that are too good for love and that women should go above and beyond the realm of what is humanly possible to get his attention. Its absurd. Wait.....let me back up. I honestly don't feel that MOST men feel this way, but that group does exist and this needs to be addressed dammit! If you watch the video that I've posted, you may get a better idea of what I'm trying to express here. One guy even goes as far as to say that he's on a higher shelf because he doesn't have the flaws that another guy may have. Huh? The fact that you said that made the next guy just a little more attractive. I personally cant stand a cocky, arrogant man. I understand its a struggle to be humble at times when you KNOW that you're shitting on the competition, but everyone must realize that arrogance is not very attractive. Especially when there's no personality to match. Ugh. Disgusting.
I used to think that because I brought so much to the table that I didn't have to work as hard to be considered a "good" woman. I figured that once he saw what all I had going, that I was in there. Wrong! I had to realize that no one would want to marry me because of my degrees, or job, or deed, but that I would have to show them a WOMAN! You can look real good on paper, and never get someone to like you because You have nothing in the form of attractive human traits to offer. Why do you think so many "accomplished" women get snatched up by street dudes or bad boys, or whatever you like to call them? He may not have the Fortune 500 job, he may have a kid or two, but he treats her like a woman, makes her feel good, and probably isn't boring her to death.
Now don't get me wrong, once you get to a point in life where you've reached a majority of your goals and have attained the things that you want in life on your own, and you begin to search for a mate, its natural to opt for someone who has reached a similar level of......."success". But its important to keep an open mind and to be realistic when dealing with people. Its a struggle, trust me I know, but its hard to match up with someone who's tit for tat with you. And if you do meet someone 'on your level', doesn't mean that it will automatically work. Point is, there is no formula for a happy life. You just gotta go through the trial and error and try not to let the bad experiences make you bitter or hold a grudge. You will be hurt, your feelings will be out there, but there is no reward without risk!
Here is the link to the video that sparked my thoughts :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ9u7qdK4Xo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
The video has been removed.
In my opinion, people put too much praise on "success". What qualifies as being successful? As a woman, I can (and I actually do) have the degrees, good job, home, etc but what does that mean if I cant make a man WANT to stay around? In reality, the only way to define my success as far as relationships go, is my track record of maintaining a good one. The same goes for a man. Who cares about your education, money and the fact that you don't have kids if your personality is garbage and no woman can stand to be around you?
I read some comments from men that pretty much said that because they are successful in life (degree, no kids, preferable debt to income ratio, etc) that they are in an elite group of superhuman individuals that are too good for love and that women should go above and beyond the realm of what is humanly possible to get his attention. Its absurd. Wait.....let me back up. I honestly don't feel that MOST men feel this way, but that group does exist and this needs to be addressed dammit! If you watch the video that I've posted, you may get a better idea of what I'm trying to express here. One guy even goes as far as to say that he's on a higher shelf because he doesn't have the flaws that another guy may have. Huh? The fact that you said that made the next guy just a little more attractive. I personally cant stand a cocky, arrogant man. I understand its a struggle to be humble at times when you KNOW that you're shitting on the competition, but everyone must realize that arrogance is not very attractive. Especially when there's no personality to match. Ugh. Disgusting.
I used to think that because I brought so much to the table that I didn't have to work as hard to be considered a "good" woman. I figured that once he saw what all I had going, that I was in there. Wrong! I had to realize that no one would want to marry me because of my degrees, or job, or deed, but that I would have to show them a WOMAN! You can look real good on paper, and never get someone to like you because You have nothing in the form of attractive human traits to offer. Why do you think so many "accomplished" women get snatched up by street dudes or bad boys, or whatever you like to call them? He may not have the Fortune 500 job, he may have a kid or two, but he treats her like a woman, makes her feel good, and probably isn't boring her to death.
Now don't get me wrong, once you get to a point in life where you've reached a majority of your goals and have attained the things that you want in life on your own, and you begin to search for a mate, its natural to opt for someone who has reached a similar level of......."success". But its important to keep an open mind and to be realistic when dealing with people. Its a struggle, trust me I know, but its hard to match up with someone who's tit for tat with you. And if you do meet someone 'on your level', doesn't mean that it will automatically work. Point is, there is no formula for a happy life. You just gotta go through the trial and error and try not to let the bad experiences make you bitter or hold a grudge. You will be hurt, your feelings will be out there, but there is no reward without risk!
Here is the link to the video that sparked my thoughts :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ9u7qdK4Xo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
The video has been removed.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
You Are What You Deal With
This post is half dating, half self perception, please discern the half that applies to you.
We've all had the experience of dealing with someone who doesn't quite deserve us. Whether its in an intimate relationship, a friendship, co-workers/bosses, etc. But where do we draw the line? Is the pain of letting go, really as bad as the pain of dealing with the situation? Does it take that strong of a person to let it go, or does it take being completely fed up to leave?
From my personal experience, I usually let go once I'm completely fed up. Sometimes it takes a few months, sometimes it takes years. Of course, your attachment to that person/thing often determines your time frame of when you CAN let go. Sometimes when that emotional attachment is so strong, you can't fight it. I suggest you just keep at it until you absolutely get tired of the mess. BUT remember, that the more you contribute, the more you're gonna be tempted to stick around and wait for your effort to be reciprocated. How many times have you thought, " I've put in so much work and I just want some appreciation." So we stick around and wait.....and wait, and wait, and wait. Next thing you know, years and years have passed and you're still waiting.
One thing that I know for SURE is that when you're truly wanted, you don't wait. You are a priority and anything else that you're told is just a lie to keep their benefits package. I have a few close male friends that I know will keep it real with me, whether it hurts my feelings or not. I also know that they know me very well as well as my worth, so I trust their opinions. What I've learned from them is that a man can fake it til he makes it. Men are not as emotionally attached to us as we are to them, (I'm talking during the dating phase, or usually the phase where the relationship status hasn't been fully established. Don't know if you're in this stage? If someone asks you if you're single and you have to think about it, this is you. lol (#NoBeef) so the little things that we do that we think shows our affection and devotion, most men don't notice. Now there are exceptions. One being that he is REALLY into you and notices and appreciates everything. When you have that, you know it. But let's be honest, it usually takes a while to get a man to that point, and with the woman to man ratio being so high, competition is fierce, and some of these women are ruthless and unstoppable when it comes to seducing and reeling in a man! Secondly, it depends on the maturity level of the guy. I mean really, if he isn't established in his life, he probably isn't ready to settle down. Sometimes we feel as if we can coerce a man to be with us if we show our "ride or die" qualities or try to help him through his l il storm. Nope! All that does is give him someone he can depend on, nothing more, nothing less. It wont make him think "Damn this girl is really down for me, I'm going to marry her when I get myself together". Although that's what a lot of us think, it doesn't always work that way. When a man wants you, you wont have to guess or do anything to "make" him see that you're that one and only, he'll show you!
Now all of this is just from my personal experiences, conversations, and observations. I don't claim to know it all, but I know what I've been through and I know that the outcomes seldom change. There are some good men out there that want to settle down and be providers who aren't quite able to for whatever reason, be it, career instability, financial reasons, etc, that could use that extra push to get it together. But, what I want people, especially women, because that's who does this more often, to understand is that, helping a man doesn't entitle you to anything except a "THANK YOU". Not a ring, not a commitment, not a house, none of that. If you (men and women) want to be there for someone, do it from the kindness of your heart, not because you expect something in return. Whether that something is a relationship, a YOM (you owe me), or whatever, make sure you're doing it for the right reason. If you KNOW that you're only helping someone because you want them to owe you, do them and yourself a favor and DON'T. I'd rather struggle than have someone help me who is only doing it so that I will own them later. Another thing, if you have those kind of tit for tat relationships in your life, you may need to do some evaluating. Personally, I don't want friends like that. Do you? Then why in the hell would someone marry your ulterior motive having ass? LOL You are what you deal with!
What are your opinions on this?
We've all had the experience of dealing with someone who doesn't quite deserve us. Whether its in an intimate relationship, a friendship, co-workers/bosses, etc. But where do we draw the line? Is the pain of letting go, really as bad as the pain of dealing with the situation? Does it take that strong of a person to let it go, or does it take being completely fed up to leave?
From my personal experience, I usually let go once I'm completely fed up. Sometimes it takes a few months, sometimes it takes years. Of course, your attachment to that person/thing often determines your time frame of when you CAN let go. Sometimes when that emotional attachment is so strong, you can't fight it. I suggest you just keep at it until you absolutely get tired of the mess. BUT remember, that the more you contribute, the more you're gonna be tempted to stick around and wait for your effort to be reciprocated. How many times have you thought, " I've put in so much work and I just want some appreciation." So we stick around and wait.....and wait, and wait, and wait. Next thing you know, years and years have passed and you're still waiting.
One thing that I know for SURE is that when you're truly wanted, you don't wait. You are a priority and anything else that you're told is just a lie to keep their benefits package. I have a few close male friends that I know will keep it real with me, whether it hurts my feelings or not. I also know that they know me very well as well as my worth, so I trust their opinions. What I've learned from them is that a man can fake it til he makes it. Men are not as emotionally attached to us as we are to them, (I'm talking during the dating phase, or usually the phase where the relationship status hasn't been fully established. Don't know if you're in this stage? If someone asks you if you're single and you have to think about it, this is you. lol (#NoBeef) so the little things that we do that we think shows our affection and devotion, most men don't notice. Now there are exceptions. One being that he is REALLY into you and notices and appreciates everything. When you have that, you know it. But let's be honest, it usually takes a while to get a man to that point, and with the woman to man ratio being so high, competition is fierce, and some of these women are ruthless and unstoppable when it comes to seducing and reeling in a man! Secondly, it depends on the maturity level of the guy. I mean really, if he isn't established in his life, he probably isn't ready to settle down. Sometimes we feel as if we can coerce a man to be with us if we show our "ride or die" qualities or try to help him through his l il storm. Nope! All that does is give him someone he can depend on, nothing more, nothing less. It wont make him think "Damn this girl is really down for me, I'm going to marry her when I get myself together". Although that's what a lot of us think, it doesn't always work that way. When a man wants you, you wont have to guess or do anything to "make" him see that you're that one and only, he'll show you!
Now all of this is just from my personal experiences, conversations, and observations. I don't claim to know it all, but I know what I've been through and I know that the outcomes seldom change. There are some good men out there that want to settle down and be providers who aren't quite able to for whatever reason, be it, career instability, financial reasons, etc, that could use that extra push to get it together. But, what I want people, especially women, because that's who does this more often, to understand is that, helping a man doesn't entitle you to anything except a "THANK YOU". Not a ring, not a commitment, not a house, none of that. If you (men and women) want to be there for someone, do it from the kindness of your heart, not because you expect something in return. Whether that something is a relationship, a YOM (you owe me), or whatever, make sure you're doing it for the right reason. If you KNOW that you're only helping someone because you want them to owe you, do them and yourself a favor and DON'T. I'd rather struggle than have someone help me who is only doing it so that I will own them later. Another thing, if you have those kind of tit for tat relationships in your life, you may need to do some evaluating. Personally, I don't want friends like that. Do you? Then why in the hell would someone marry your ulterior motive having ass? LOL You are what you deal with!
What are your opinions on this?
Saturday, March 31, 2012
A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Spend Too Much Money On....
I was supposed to have this post done earlier this week, but the pressures of work, life, and laziness were overwhelming. Sorry.
Explanation of Findings
The loan repayment programs that I found were mostly for government workers, non-profit organizations, and educators. Although the majority of the programs are workers within these fields (mainly due to the lower salaries paid within these areas), make sure that your current employer doesn't offer education assistance or loan repayment programs. Contact your HR or benefits representative for that information.
Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF)
This program is available to anyone who works in a "public service" job. This could be a government agency (including local, state, and federal govt, military, public schools, etc), a 501(c)(3) non profit organization (501(c)(3) identifies tax exempt non-profit org), Peace Corps, and Ameri Corps. You must be employed full-time (average of 30 hours per week), regardless of your position within these organizations.
There are also two conditions in which the Department of Education will allow you to participate if you do not meet this criteria (I copied this directly from the Department of Education's website):
1) your employer is not "a business organized for profit, a labor union, a partisan political organization, or a non-profit organization engaged in religious instruction, worship services, or any form of proselytizing;"
2) your employer provides any of the following public services: emergency management; military service; public safety; law enforcement; public interest law services; early childhood education; public service for individuals with disabilities and the elderly; public health; public education; public library services; and school library or other school-based services.
Helpful Hints
Hope this information helps! If not.......*insert rude comment*
Explanation of Findings
The loan repayment programs that I found were mostly for government workers, non-profit organizations, and educators. Although the majority of the programs are workers within these fields (mainly due to the lower salaries paid within these areas), make sure that your current employer doesn't offer education assistance or loan repayment programs. Contact your HR or benefits representative for that information.
Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF)
This program is available to anyone who works in a "public service" job. This could be a government agency (including local, state, and federal govt, military, public schools, etc), a 501(c)(3) non profit organization (501(c)(3) identifies tax exempt non-profit org), Peace Corps, and Ameri Corps. You must be employed full-time (average of 30 hours per week), regardless of your position within these organizations.
- Qualifying Loans and Repayment Conditions
There are also two conditions in which the Department of Education will allow you to participate if you do not meet this criteria (I copied this directly from the Department of Education's website):
1) your employer is not "a business organized for profit, a labor union, a partisan political organization, or a non-profit organization engaged in religious instruction, worship services, or any form of proselytizing;"
2) your employer provides any of the following public services: emergency management; military service; public safety; law enforcement; public interest law services; early childhood education; public service for individuals with disabilities and the elderly; public health; public education; public library services; and school library or other school-based services.
Helpful Hints
- If you qualify for this program and would like to take advantage, but can't afford the monthly payments, consider Income-Based Repayment (IBR). This has been around since 2009, and bases your payments from your monthly income. It can be used with pretty much any type of loan EXCEPT Parent Plus loans. Payments are usually less than 10% of your income.
- Consolidation Consolidation combines several loans that you may have with different services into one payment, but BE CAREFUL!!!! I was looking to consolidate my undergrad and graduate school loans, but learned that my undergrad loans had a lower interest rate, and if I consolidated, it would go up by 4%! I'm in the process of learning how I can keep my low interest rate, not sure if I will be able to, but I will pass along any info that I find.
- Of course this program is for those who would normally have loans that require repayment past 10 years. If your debt is not that much, just work out a plan with your servicer. I have learned that as long as you make some type of repayment attempts, they are more likely to work with you. Imagine the people who have made up their minds that they WILL NOT EVER pay back their loans. lol I'm sure its refreshing to them when people actually make the effort.
- Being debt free is one of my goals in life. If I can rid of them by the time I'm 38, I think that's great! Although, my debt is not as great as a lot of folk's, I still would like to pay them off. By using this information I have provided to you, I took my 50,000 debt and squeezed it into $178 a month.
Hope this information helps! If not.......*insert rude comment*
Thursday, March 15, 2012
That girl LOVE saving money!
I have a reputation amongst my family and close friends as being a very "frugal" person. They call me cheap, but they don't know very much. LMAO jkjkjkjk But I thought I would share some of my money saving tips with everyone. Some are pretty common, but I added them nonetheless. Enjoy!
1. Budget For me, I add up all of my bills and subtract the total from my monthly income. Starting with income, I take a certain amount from each check and have it deposited into my savings account. The longer it sits, the more interest it earns. Then I have a certain amount taken out for 401k. These are also ways to save....but for the future! After those two are subtracted, I use the new total as my income amount.
Bills. I add the cost of gas and I budget for groceries to be deducted as "bills". Add everything that you buy frequently. So here's a sample list.
mortgage/rent
lights
water
phone
internet
insurance
gas
credit card
student loans
groceries
toiletries
pampers
day care
car note, etc.
As a rule of thumb, try to have enough money in your account to cover at least 3 full months of expenses in case of hard times. If you subtract your expenses and you are in the negative or close to 0, you may be living above your means. Get it together please.
2. Coupons and Apps This one is pretty common. But did you know that your favorite store may offer special coupons and savings through mobile apps? I frequent Kroger and their app is awesome! You can download coupons right onto your Plus card and just swipe it during checkout to apply the savings. Also, make sure your address is current on your Kroger plus and other rewards cards. I get coupons in the mail all the time for free merchandise. Good stuff too. Like Free gallons of Tropicana orange juice, free Ben and Jerry's, free eggs,etc. Yeah, I know! LOL
3. Receipts Read those receipts! Not only to ensure that you didn't get got, but also to see if you can take a survey for free food/merchandise. Look at the back of your receipts as well. There could be coupons for other stores. For example, Buffalo Wild Wings offers 6 free wings after taking a short survey. Burger Kings offers a free Whopper or Chicken Sandwich with the purchase of small fries and a drink for taking their survey. These savings can come in handy when on the go as a lot of us are.
4. Scissors OK, this one is kinda sad and I wouldn't let anyone see me do this that I wasn't REAL cool with, lol, but when you get to the last bit of toothpaste, cut the tube open and dig the rest of it out. Use this method with any tubed products. Also, set lotion bottles upside down to make sure you get all of it out. You may not be "frugal" enough to do this step, but whatever, do you boo boo. lmao
5. Use Less! Instead of wrapping a whole roll of tissue around your hand, just pull off what you need. Be conscious of how much you use! Pull off one paper towel at a time. You can always go back to get another one. Don't fill up your cereal bowl with milk, just add enough to cover the cereal. Start being conscious of how much of a product you are using, versus what you really need.
6. Groupon This is like one of my favorite apps on my phone. Not only does it save you money, it gives you a chance to try out new places that you may not know about otherwise. A lot of small business owners use Groupon to get their business' name out there. They offer food, spa, fitness, and any other kind of service you can think of. Deals change daily so check them out!
7. Freeze It! Often times when I make a special recipe, I use ingredients that I don't cook with often. I've learned to chop up those ingredients and freeze them for future use. I cook with onions and bell peppers a lot so whenever I buy them, I automatically chop them up and put them in a freezer bag and freeze them. It not only cuts down on prep time, but it also keep me from throwing out so much food. I also like to look for new and different recipes using those "occasional" ingredients to expand my recipe repertoire, and ensure that those items will be used. Some people also freeze milk and other items that perish quickly. I've never tried it, but I'm sure it works fine. Examples of some of my usual occasional ingredients are green onions, basil, mint, and other fresh herbs to name a few. Some people buy powered herbs, but fresh is sooooo much better! Try it!
This is a short list, and I will add to it as things come to my head. What are some money saving tips that you use?
1. Budget For me, I add up all of my bills and subtract the total from my monthly income. Starting with income, I take a certain amount from each check and have it deposited into my savings account. The longer it sits, the more interest it earns. Then I have a certain amount taken out for 401k. These are also ways to save....but for the future! After those two are subtracted, I use the new total as my income amount.
Bills. I add the cost of gas and I budget for groceries to be deducted as "bills". Add everything that you buy frequently. So here's a sample list.
mortgage/rent
lights
water
phone
internet
insurance
gas
credit card
student loans
groceries
toiletries
pampers
day care
car note, etc.
As a rule of thumb, try to have enough money in your account to cover at least 3 full months of expenses in case of hard times. If you subtract your expenses and you are in the negative or close to 0, you may be living above your means. Get it together please.
2. Coupons and Apps This one is pretty common. But did you know that your favorite store may offer special coupons and savings through mobile apps? I frequent Kroger and their app is awesome! You can download coupons right onto your Plus card and just swipe it during checkout to apply the savings. Also, make sure your address is current on your Kroger plus and other rewards cards. I get coupons in the mail all the time for free merchandise. Good stuff too. Like Free gallons of Tropicana orange juice, free Ben and Jerry's, free eggs,etc. Yeah, I know! LOL
3. Receipts Read those receipts! Not only to ensure that you didn't get got, but also to see if you can take a survey for free food/merchandise. Look at the back of your receipts as well. There could be coupons for other stores. For example, Buffalo Wild Wings offers 6 free wings after taking a short survey. Burger Kings offers a free Whopper or Chicken Sandwich with the purchase of small fries and a drink for taking their survey. These savings can come in handy when on the go as a lot of us are.
4. Scissors OK, this one is kinda sad and I wouldn't let anyone see me do this that I wasn't REAL cool with, lol, but when you get to the last bit of toothpaste, cut the tube open and dig the rest of it out. Use this method with any tubed products. Also, set lotion bottles upside down to make sure you get all of it out. You may not be "frugal" enough to do this step, but whatever, do you boo boo. lmao
5. Use Less! Instead of wrapping a whole roll of tissue around your hand, just pull off what you need. Be conscious of how much you use! Pull off one paper towel at a time. You can always go back to get another one. Don't fill up your cereal bowl with milk, just add enough to cover the cereal. Start being conscious of how much of a product you are using, versus what you really need.
6. Groupon This is like one of my favorite apps on my phone. Not only does it save you money, it gives you a chance to try out new places that you may not know about otherwise. A lot of small business owners use Groupon to get their business' name out there. They offer food, spa, fitness, and any other kind of service you can think of. Deals change daily so check them out!
7. Freeze It! Often times when I make a special recipe, I use ingredients that I don't cook with often. I've learned to chop up those ingredients and freeze them for future use. I cook with onions and bell peppers a lot so whenever I buy them, I automatically chop them up and put them in a freezer bag and freeze them. It not only cuts down on prep time, but it also keep me from throwing out so much food. I also like to look for new and different recipes using those "occasional" ingredients to expand my recipe repertoire, and ensure that those items will be used. Some people also freeze milk and other items that perish quickly. I've never tried it, but I'm sure it works fine. Examples of some of my usual occasional ingredients are green onions, basil, mint, and other fresh herbs to name a few. Some people buy powered herbs, but fresh is sooooo much better! Try it!
This is a short list, and I will add to it as things come to my head. What are some money saving tips that you use?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Being a celebrity....my POV
I'm up, can't sleep and thinking about Whitney. I remember when I was in the 4th grade I wanted her and Mariah Carey to come to my birthday party. I BEGGED my mama to get them there and promised to be good forever. I cried and cried when they didn't come. (I've always been a mysterious one).
Can you imagine that? Having someone you've never met, especially a child cry over you when all you did was share your God given talent to the world? I couldn't imagine the pressure. We never stop to think about the constant stress that celebrities are under. Sure, they're overpaid and some are undeserving of the fame, but they're still human. Humans with the same emotions, egos, and temperaments that us regular folk have.
Imagine this....you show up for work after being awarded the top performer in your region. You are extremely proud of your accomplishment, after all you are excelling in something that you've wanted to do your whole life, or at least something that you've set your mind to do. Then all of a sudden your co-workers are upset with you! They no longer speak or some are trying to defame you by saying that you cheated or just plain don't deserve the recognition. What do you do? Personally, I have been in this situation and I REACTED! I stopped speaking to them too and defending my achievement. I have always excelled in the game of CYA (cover ya azz) and I brought out the documentation proving that I was deserving. When I didn't feel like "faking it" I didn't. I mugged the people who I knew were causing me grief and I wore my feelings on my face. With that being said....it's hard being successful as a "regular" person!
So, imagine if every time you feel like giving one of those "bish I'll stab you" looks to somebody who you know just wants to drag you through the dirt, you'll have paparazzi and media snapping pics in your face and plastering it on the cover of a magazine with a headline like "Amber says she hates all of her fans and they're all demons". lol And everytime you try to justify or explain your actions, it just gets worse. You can no longer creep with your boo or date more than one person without it being in the news. Then you have to smile and grin and pretend like everything is OK. I couldn't do it. I'll be like Naomi Campbell or somebody and stay with a negative headline about me. Sad, but I'm not really good with faking. Or I would be like Jasmine Sullivan and stick to my art and skip the interviews, red carpets, etc.
But for the superstars, its got to be hard for them to cope, which is why a lot of them turn to drugs. They use them to stabilize their moods and to be able to keep the smiles on their faces through the bs and foolery. They may start out with their families and friends and a strong relationship with God, but that pressure has to be powerful. And after getting tired of those friends and family members begging for money and not wanting to help themselves anymore because "you got it", its easy to lean towards the 'yes men' and get caught up in that world. Eventually things can get out of control and boom....we've lost another Whitney or Michael, or Richard Pryor, or one of the many other countless stars we've lost to that lifestyle.
This was a super random blog, but I just thought I'd share my point of view on the topic. What do you think? Put yourselves in their shoes and imagine faking it in your life, that you live right now, and increase that pressure 50x's and tell me if you could handle it.
Can you imagine that? Having someone you've never met, especially a child cry over you when all you did was share your God given talent to the world? I couldn't imagine the pressure. We never stop to think about the constant stress that celebrities are under. Sure, they're overpaid and some are undeserving of the fame, but they're still human. Humans with the same emotions, egos, and temperaments that us regular folk have.
Imagine this....you show up for work after being awarded the top performer in your region. You are extremely proud of your accomplishment, after all you are excelling in something that you've wanted to do your whole life, or at least something that you've set your mind to do. Then all of a sudden your co-workers are upset with you! They no longer speak or some are trying to defame you by saying that you cheated or just plain don't deserve the recognition. What do you do? Personally, I have been in this situation and I REACTED! I stopped speaking to them too and defending my achievement. I have always excelled in the game of CYA (cover ya azz) and I brought out the documentation proving that I was deserving. When I didn't feel like "faking it" I didn't. I mugged the people who I knew were causing me grief and I wore my feelings on my face. With that being said....it's hard being successful as a "regular" person!
So, imagine if every time you feel like giving one of those "bish I'll stab you" looks to somebody who you know just wants to drag you through the dirt, you'll have paparazzi and media snapping pics in your face and plastering it on the cover of a magazine with a headline like "Amber says she hates all of her fans and they're all demons". lol And everytime you try to justify or explain your actions, it just gets worse. You can no longer creep with your boo or date more than one person without it being in the news. Then you have to smile and grin and pretend like everything is OK. I couldn't do it. I'll be like Naomi Campbell or somebody and stay with a negative headline about me. Sad, but I'm not really good with faking. Or I would be like Jasmine Sullivan and stick to my art and skip the interviews, red carpets, etc.
But for the superstars, its got to be hard for them to cope, which is why a lot of them turn to drugs. They use them to stabilize their moods and to be able to keep the smiles on their faces through the bs and foolery. They may start out with their families and friends and a strong relationship with God, but that pressure has to be powerful. And after getting tired of those friends and family members begging for money and not wanting to help themselves anymore because "you got it", its easy to lean towards the 'yes men' and get caught up in that world. Eventually things can get out of control and boom....we've lost another Whitney or Michael, or Richard Pryor, or one of the many other countless stars we've lost to that lifestyle.
This was a super random blog, but I just thought I'd share my point of view on the topic. What do you think? Put yourselves in their shoes and imagine faking it in your life, that you live right now, and increase that pressure 50x's and tell me if you could handle it.
Monday, February 13, 2012
L.OV.Ehhhhh
I know, I know. Another blog post about the most needed, hated, adored, freighting thing of all time.....love. But let's face it, with all the different opinions, experiences, and fairy tales that we've all experienced its kinda nice to gain a different perspective about it. Whether its from a biblical standpoint or comes from observing a functioning relationship, there are so many opinions and viewpoints about it, that its kinda hard not to get wrapped into the phenom.
With Valentines Day quickly approaching, I thought I'd share my two cents on the topic. You ready? Well here it go! lol
So, I'm single. And have been for a LONG time. I would love to be in a relationship with someone who compliments me and makes me want to be a better person, who knows God and lives to be that 1 Peter 3 type of husband, and I his Prov 31 wife, so that we can live that 1 Cor 7 life! But am I in a rush for it? No! It so easy to be discouraged. Seeing images of people who are in love and seemingly happy, and not being able to have that same joy. But its important to realize that not everyone who is in a relationship is happy or has companionship. Some are just as lonely as some single folk! And please understand that just because someone is single, does not mean that they are lonely. It is very possible to be alone, but not be lonely.
So whats the solution? Well, I'm no expert and I get discouraged and lonely just like the next person, but from my personal experience, I can tell you this. You are alone for a reason. There is something that the Lord wants you to work on about yourself before he sends you "the one". Learn to be content with yourself. If you cant stand to be around you, he/she wont either! I know thats an old cliche, but it's oh so true. Be able to answer the question "what do you look for in a man/woman?" I'm 28 and still struggle with an answer to this question. Until I can confidently answer this question and not just say what sounds good, then I have no choice but to remain single. How can you want something, but not know what it is you're asking for? When you get your answer, pray and ask God to not only send him/her to you, but to prepare you for their arrival.
Get a life. Dont just sit around and complain about being alone and how you want to be with someone (Honestly, I struggle with this myself and I have to catch myself). Get involved in something! Church activities, civic organizations, volunteer work, learn a new recipe, walk a dog, do something! Nobody, and I mean nobody (thats worth being with, anyway) wants somebody whose whole life revolves around their mate. There's nothing sexy about that. Ewww. You will be surprised the people you meet or the things that you find out about yourself when you start to do new things. I, for example, volunteer with the YWCA, watching the battered women's children while they attend group sessions. Those kids bring so much joy to my life. I get to teach and show them things that they wouldnt normally get to see or hear. See, I'm a firm believer that we all go through certain experiences just for the sole purpose of teaching someone else the lesson. Never keep your gifts, knowledge, and lessons all to yourself. Help someone else grow!
Ok, well I would keep going, but I'm trying to keep my posts readable. Dont want to lose anyone (if anyone even reads them) in gibberish. lol
With Valentines Day quickly approaching, I thought I'd share my two cents on the topic. You ready? Well here it go! lol
So, I'm single. And have been for a LONG time. I would love to be in a relationship with someone who compliments me and makes me want to be a better person, who knows God and lives to be that 1 Peter 3 type of husband, and I his Prov 31 wife, so that we can live that 1 Cor 7 life! But am I in a rush for it? No! It so easy to be discouraged. Seeing images of people who are in love and seemingly happy, and not being able to have that same joy. But its important to realize that not everyone who is in a relationship is happy or has companionship. Some are just as lonely as some single folk! And please understand that just because someone is single, does not mean that they are lonely. It is very possible to be alone, but not be lonely.
So whats the solution? Well, I'm no expert and I get discouraged and lonely just like the next person, but from my personal experience, I can tell you this. You are alone for a reason. There is something that the Lord wants you to work on about yourself before he sends you "the one". Learn to be content with yourself. If you cant stand to be around you, he/she wont either! I know thats an old cliche, but it's oh so true. Be able to answer the question "what do you look for in a man/woman?" I'm 28 and still struggle with an answer to this question. Until I can confidently answer this question and not just say what sounds good, then I have no choice but to remain single. How can you want something, but not know what it is you're asking for? When you get your answer, pray and ask God to not only send him/her to you, but to prepare you for their arrival.
Get a life. Dont just sit around and complain about being alone and how you want to be with someone (Honestly, I struggle with this myself and I have to catch myself). Get involved in something! Church activities, civic organizations, volunteer work, learn a new recipe, walk a dog, do something! Nobody, and I mean nobody (thats worth being with, anyway) wants somebody whose whole life revolves around their mate. There's nothing sexy about that. Ewww. You will be surprised the people you meet or the things that you find out about yourself when you start to do new things. I, for example, volunteer with the YWCA, watching the battered women's children while they attend group sessions. Those kids bring so much joy to my life. I get to teach and show them things that they wouldnt normally get to see or hear. See, I'm a firm believer that we all go through certain experiences just for the sole purpose of teaching someone else the lesson. Never keep your gifts, knowledge, and lessons all to yourself. Help someone else grow!
Ok, well I would keep going, but I'm trying to keep my posts readable. Dont want to lose anyone (if anyone even reads them) in gibberish. lol
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